Learning to enjoy life

2009 a year in review -Taken from-Tiffany

I know I am months late, but I really wanted to do this.

01. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Became a Grandma for the second time.

02. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I try not to set myself up for failure. So no.

03. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My daughter. My friends in the computer.

04. Did anyone close to you die?

My Rottie Rachel. My Moms cat Oliver. (Rachel resided with my Mom all her life though)

05. What countries did you visit?

none

06. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

A closer relationship with my family.

07. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Jan 30,2009 the birth of my Grandson Tj. Dec 4, The second birthday of my first Grandson. Oct 25, my daughter turned 21 and

we went out and sang Kareoke. Nov 26? the day before Thanksgiving when my 9 mos old Grandson showed the first signs of ODD

at a way too young age. Thanksgiving as my daughter cooked the most awesome Thanksgiving dinner.

08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

moving out of a rental I was in that the landlords were horrible to me.

09. What was your biggest failure?

Being so damn down on myself because I wasn't happy where I was. I let fear get the best of me. I know if there was ever a

reason to be afraid, I had it, BUT i also failed because I know better and I was to give it all to God and I failed

miserably at that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

End of Nov saw me in the hospital with pnemonia/broncheal crap that was so bad they put me on Abs that had death as the

first side effect.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

anything that was for my baby nieces and grandson and daughter & SIL.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I can't think of one right now???????

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Rickey Blackburn, who tortured me in my own home and told me too bad. (long story) Shortly after that he dumped his john

deer on his head. May he sincerely rest in peace. A man named Randy who asked me if he Raped me (reason i needed to move

fast! one of them anyways) would I tell? I told him I would Kill him and gladly do the time. I didn't get raped so i guess

he knew I meant it. And don't doubt for a minute, I meant it.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent, Fur kids, Nieces and Grandson and daughter et.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My Daughter and grandson back in my life after her boyfriend kept her from everyone she knew for months.

16. Compared to this time last year, you are:

Happier, more secure, Less comfortable.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Gotten out of the house. Made friends.

189. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Crying, and missing people.

19. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas?

Alone by choice. My daughter made the foolish decision to put her man above my Grandson and could have lost the baby. Now, 6

mos later, she did just that. And I am helpless to do anything to fix it. i warned her. she ignored me and now Tj is in the

systems custody.

20. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

Crud. i don't even remember. (and my shift key is giving me a hard time. ugh)

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

No. I wanted to wait until I was reunited with my Mom (happened April 28, 2010) and get to know her better before I pursue a

relationship.

22. How many one-night stands?

None! Abstinence for over 27 mos now. By my own choice though.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Greys anatomy. Bones. Lie To Me. The mentalist. Anything that Taylor Swift is in. (which isn't even a question but I wish My

Mom and I, and my daughter and I had the relationship that Taylor Swift has with her Mom. It is sooo awesome!)

24 Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

hate is against God. So no, I don't hate any one. I hate things people have done to me though, without a doubt.

25 What did you want and get?

I wanted to get away from the scary people and I did. (Right into another abusive landlord situation. Sometimes you just

can't win)

26. Want and not get?

Wanted to be back in Florida last year. Got it in 2010.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

August Rush, 27 Dresses, Hannah Montana Movie. Murder by Number. (hey, I don't usually go out to the theater so these are

the movies I saw in 2009 and adored.)

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 40. And didn't celebrate.

39. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having "Just Enough" Money to survive without tears and begging for help from family/friends/and the state.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Robe, Pj's and warm fuzzy socks.

32. What kept you sane?

Not a thing.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Taylor Swift

34. What was your favorite video game of the year?

I played Super poke pets on line. does that count?

35. Who has made the most cameos in your dreams this year?

Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Izzy and Rob.

36. Who did you miss?

Trimee, Rachel & Breslin. Best dogs in the world.

37. Who was the best person that you met?

My Grandson Tj.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

Lean on God. Never stop trusting. Never forget he has my back.

posted by Kandi Ann @ 8:44 AM 1 comments

Dream

I love to have good dreams. I have six dream catchers near where I sleep. I cannot wait to get in my own room and have them hanging and add to my collection.

Yesterday was a day of let downs and hurt mixed with some great. My Mom asked me what would make me happy and that made me feel good. We went to publix and I got two new kinds of body wash that the smell isn't over powering but sweet and nice, since I am allergic to yummy and strong scents.

Bringing the stuff in from the car, I looked at Taylor's Service Dog vest and wished that I had gotten Taylor Swifts signature to go along with Glorianna's who btw are awesomeness x a zillion. And then I thought, I was so Blessed to have had her grab my hand and tell me she loved me when she walked down the isle back to on stage where she was performing. And to have my Taylor meet her for a quick second. )sorta, she was right with me up in my wheel chair and was as close to her as I was. I say that counts since dogs can't talk! :o)

I was also upset because I wasn't invited to K's funeral. He turned 21 in May. He was a big part of my families lives and my sisters life up until the very end. I never had a problem with his Mom but I did with my cousin who was like a father to K and I thought maybe she didn't invite me because she thought my cousin and I were still not talking. Though Shawn and I have made up and I love him even more now then I did last week and not even thinking that was possible, K's Mom didn't know this. And my sister refused to tell her. So I sat at home and thought about K and his family and mine and my non allowed involvement. I was sad and hurt. But there was nothing I could do.

Which leads to my dream I guess. I don't normally pull dreams from my day. But I guess it was hard on my heart and clung to my memory even in sleep.

So, the dream. Taylor Swift was in the whole thing though there were two separate parts to the dream, she was my friend and was trying to help fix things. IRL there is an investigation going on into the homicide of K. I find many articles on it being called a suicide but deep in the pit of BC jail they are not taking that at face value. So in my dream, I killed J, K's Mom by letting her use my inhaler of which she ended up being allergic to. (I have been having mega breathing episodes IRL lately, so this too was pulled from IRL) In my dream she was one of my best friends. Taylor was taking me from place to place to try to keep me from getting in trouble and all I was worried about was me being responsible for hurting her. In the end, I had told no one yet though I was headed to and the dream ended due to house noise IRL. And again, this may have been taken from knowing my sister was told by K himself that if he went to jail he wouldn't survive. Was that intuition of impending doom? Or was he telling my sister he would end it. I guess we will possibly know once the investigation is over. Until then, I hope for comfort for the family in this hard time.

posted by Kandi Ann @ 7:34 AM 0 comments

100 Things About Me, or not as is the case in many... (fun I know. I really enjoy reading others though soooo... )

(Everything that I have accomplished is in bold)

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to DisneyWorld

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch-hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run (not even close)

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance (just last week)

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen (no but I have eaten there)

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check (Not intentionally)

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Got a tattoo

94. Had a baby (mama to Dear sweet Angel Babies!)

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. (Pick your own to add here, anything you want) Went to a Taylor Swift Concert.

posted by Kandi Ann @ 8:03 AM 0 comments

I prefer my live journal

O.k. So that is not the title I wanted to choose for today's post. But I guess it will have to do. The only thing I don't like about Lj is the posting semagic download thing on my desktop for easy posting that I use that I can barely see what I type. Here I can see what I am typing out. Which is delightful. So I have no idea how I will work the whole which blog to choose thing. I love blogger because all the people I have been reading and new reads, I can comment on because of this blog.

And now, I have some great people stopping by to comment me back. YIKES!! that is scary. I don't usually feel like writing when I am happy or too sick. So it leaves for some dreary reading. Which I guess in the start, I needed help and wanted someone to help me/save me but it wasn't in Gods timing. Though now, I am living with my Mom and hoping we can be close. I am where my heart desires to be. Word association brings me to think of Noelle, which makes me want to scream to the mountain tops and Gods ears, Please let baby B grow! GROW BABY B, GROW PLEASE!! Also, drop over and say hi and say some Prayers for her and Baby B!

I am finding myself settling in and living life instead of waiting to live life. Though if you would like to Pray for me, that would be great. I am right now on the back porch typing this out and I do not have a room here yet. My clothes are in the garage and getting goo on them from passing rodents/bugs and it creeps me out. But I can't rush Mama and right now we have our dear friend J in the hospital as of 6 am this morning, so things have crashed (and I am o.k with that, I want J home safely ASAP, even if I am getting my old his now room while he is gone) to a major halt.

Here is Taylor



She is my Service Dog. My heart. My best friend of the fur world. She seems to be saying, "Mom, if you have time to blog, can you throw my wubba for me, huh huh pleaseeee?

I am over heated so I will go for now. I am going to throw a link up at Lj that points here and see how I go from there.

J needs Prayers also. He is going in for more heart surgery stuff and has CHF-Severe. he is a Veteran and my Mom's earthly angel. He helps here at the house and he is just amazing. There is a part of his heart they couldn't see and they will be checking that out when they go inside tomorrow. I am Praying that they find everything to be in working order and he is allowed home soon after is procedure/surgery.

xoxo, Kandi Ann (and yes, I know it says who I am in my profile part, Its the OCD. I have to sign out.) OH and OMGAH I was in the ER, actually 2 this past week, I was transferred from one to another by ambulance and J and Mom had to get my car from one to the other also, it was a crazy night. I brought my medical files in with me and the Dr. from the first ER looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Wow, I have never seen such a severe case of OCD." UH, Thanks Doc. I did like her tons so I didn't stab her with my IV needle or anything, as for results on labs, my WBC was elevated but have heard no news on any of the other "growth" results.


Yep, all my blood they took, in those huge arse viles. She said most of it was broth. It conjured up thoughts of soup. Now I can never eat soup again. :oP


They treated Taylor like a queen, bringing us both warm blankets and anything we desired. She even got one of the nurses dinner bar. WOW thank you lady. That was above and beyond. We really appreciated that.


Uh Mama? Aren't you sick? Shouldn't you stop taking pictures of me so we can both rest? Love, Tay

The sun went behind the clouds and it cooled off a bit here, so I guess I wasn't done with this post after all.

I love to take pictures. My Sony point and shoots card reader isn't compatible with Vista which makes me cry because I have no place to set up my desk top computer. So a photographer at heart is stuck using a cell phone camera. Sobs! Though possibly some good news on this front is J lent me a camera, not nearly the quality of my camera but a girl has to do what a girl has to do, I have used it but have yet to try to dump the stick so I am holding my breath on the quality of pictures, as I said. I love to take pictures.



This is Billie Bob Sarah Girl Grump. I love this cat. Out of Mama, J's and my cats we have 9 total and this girl has ONE friend out of them all cause she growls and hisses if the other cats even look at her. She also bites people. I was pleased yesterday when I wasn't able to get out of her way fast enough and she got me and didn't hurt me. I think I am making friends with this old bat. Whom I rescued years ago as a skinny starving homeless thing. She has medical problems as most white cats do so forgive her fatness. She can't help it.

I am sure I will be back with more happy. I really enjoyed doing this post. I hope my 9th grade education writing skills doesn't make your eyes bleed. It is what I have to work with after all. Peace Out.

posted by Kandi Ann @ 7:45 AM 0 comments