Sunday, June 27, 2010

Dream

I love to have good dreams. I have six dream catchers near where I sleep. I cannot wait to get in my own room and have them hanging and add to my collection.

Yesterday was a day of let downs and hurt mixed with some great. My Mom asked me what would make me happy and that made me feel good. We went to publix and I got two new kinds of body wash that the smell isn't over powering but sweet and nice, since I am allergic to yummy and strong scents.

Bringing the stuff in from the car, I looked at Taylor's Service Dog vest and wished that I had gotten Taylor Swifts signature to go along with Glorianna's who btw are awesomeness x a zillion. And then I thought, I was so Blessed to have had her grab my hand and tell me she loved me when she walked down the isle back to on stage where she was performing. And to have my Taylor meet her for a quick second. )sorta, she was right with me up in my wheel chair and was as close to her as I was. I say that counts since dogs can't talk! :o)

I was also upset because I wasn't invited to K's funeral. He turned 21 in May. He was a big part of my families lives and my sisters life up until the very end. I never had a problem with his Mom but I did with my cousin who was like a father to K and I thought maybe she didn't invite me because she thought my cousin and I were still not talking. Though Shawn and I have made up and I love him even more now then I did last week and not even thinking that was possible, K's Mom didn't know this. And my sister refused to tell her. So I sat at home and thought about K and his family and mine and my non allowed involvement. I was sad and hurt. But there was nothing I could do.

Which leads to my dream I guess. I don't normally pull dreams from my day. But I guess it was hard on my heart and clung to my memory even in sleep.

So, the dream. Taylor Swift was in the whole thing though there were two separate parts to the dream, she was my friend and was trying to help fix things. IRL there is an investigation going on into the homicide of K. I find many articles on it being called a suicide but deep in the pit of BC jail they are not taking that at face value. So in my dream, I killed J, K's Mom by letting her use my inhaler of which she ended up being allergic to. (I have been having mega breathing episodes IRL lately, so this too was pulled from IRL) In my dream she was one of my best friends. Taylor was taking me from place to place to try to keep me from getting in trouble and all I was worried about was me being responsible for hurting her. In the end, I had told no one yet though I was headed to and the dream ended due to house noise IRL. And again, this may have been taken from knowing my sister was told by K himself that if he went to jail he wouldn't survive. Was that intuition of impending doom? Or was he telling my sister he would end it. I guess we will possibly know once the investigation is over. Until then, I hope for comfort for the family in this hard time.

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