Sunday, November 29, 2015

Don't want to be in my head right now! AKA Autism Brain, oh the fun.

There was so much going through my head about a game my husband and I play together. WS*OP
 I actually got angry about something going on with one of the games I play. I in fact am still upset about it. DH changed my name in the game so no one could locate me in real life, he did not change his. Now strangers are hunting him down and collecting all his free coins. Something I did every morning since it was our thing together and for a week now, the coins have been all collected. So DH is going to change his name, I am going to block those strangers and the problem will be fixed.

This picture shows the clickable thing that gives me 20,000 coins for each one. I used to get like 20 each morning. Now the facebook page will be changed to friends only and I will get them again. It is my thing. I don't want to feel petty but I do. But it is also DH and my thing to share. I put too much thought into this I know. But that is how my brain works. It just wouldn't let it go to the point I had to write it out. Usually after a "write out" I am ok and can go on and think of something else.

   I am sure the strangers can stalk other people and get their points but ours are for our friend  SH and US. DH feels bad about not sharing with the strangers and I understand that, I felt bad for a minute and realized if he can find DHs he can find others too. I do not collect any except from DH and SH (Dear Husband and our friends first and last initial) Then I thought, first world problems because I see that a lot online, its a thing people now post when someone complains about something that isn't big, like getting bombed or starving or disease. Do I even have a right to have such petty feelings? I think I do

   This is the simple life I live now, it has definitely not always been so simple. I was born in the US. I am just who God made me though. I have to go with it. I am thankful. I started life out good for eight years, got abused, ended up on the street and I had a hard life. It could have been way worse I am sure, and why do I even say it could have been way worse? For me it was HELL. I recently read we are not supposed to compare our lives to others, I cannot remember if it is Biblical or where I read it.

  This is what I do for others, because I have a heart for everyone.  I Pray for a lot of babies and people who need it. I have a home that I would love to take in a family in true need. We have opened our home to a homeless man so far and he ended up doing a drug called meth in our home and my Grand baby was in his room since she was just a toddler and that room is right off the kitchen and I just happened to find his stuff to use drugs on the floor where the baby could have gotten it if she wasn't run after to get her out immediately. We asked him to leave. I cannot have that in my house. I felt sad because, he is a veteran and he was so low he didn't even want to fight to have a normal life. Going to fight for our country really wreaks havoc on a person. I wasn't the one to be able to help with that particular problem, it could have cost us everything, but my heart did go out to him. 

For myself to get through the days, I color and I take care of my rats and critters and I play games and also when the pain isn't horrid, I love to straighten up stuff and clean. I have been blessed, after ten years of really wanting a Dyson Vacuum, I finally got one. Total heaven for someone who loves things super clean.

   I saw an article today on a veteran that lost his home and I actually posted asking how I can help. I would love to see him get a go fund me page. Everyone re posts stuff about helping and people say do something instead of just re-posting so I am trying. Not a whole lot I can do being a shut in and broke but I am trying to do what I can. Anyone reading this can send Prayers to him too.

 Well, that was a lot of stuff rattling around in my head. I feel calmer now and I wonder if I shared too much or made myself look weird. I have had a lot of people and I mean a lot, tell me how sorry they were for upsetting me and I was never angry. My words do not go across to others as gentle, as they are always intended and I hate that about being autistic. I want to fit in. I really do. I know I never will. I am already 46 and it hasn't happened yet.


 Above pictures are from the National Dog Show, 2015 for choosing Best In Show. Right from the start, my pick was Charlie, and this made me so happy cause Charlie took the win!!! I wonder if I was able to move without pain and anxiety et if I would have actually been a good judge. Still basking in the fact my pick won. Good job Charlie. Your adorable and perfect.

 This blog is for me to read in the years to come and I would like it to help someone in the process too. If anyone actually made it through this, Thank you. And also, I will answer any questions anyone would have for me at anytime. Well, maybe not any, but always respectfully asked ones for sure.

 And now for my new game I have found that I am really enjoying. It is from and it is called The Far Kingdoms age of Solitaire and it is solitaire with a major flairand makes it very fun. You build stuff with gold you earn, their games are always free and they go all out making them worth playing.


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