Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The Fear: I cannot recreate it.

I twittered recently for help in moving. God sent me Angels! I was terrified of the physical pain that I was sure to come from the drug users that were moving in next door, and I knew they would break in and rob me and hurt me. They were already bullying me out of my yard and treating me as if I were scum. I didn't like it. I felt fear all the time. Irrational or foresight I don't know. I have been known to "see" things that were coming or were happening as I was seeing them in my mind. I just knew I needed to get out of there.

I also had a fear of freezing to death as I almost died last winter due to lack of insulation in the house and my lack of night time mobility. That was a real fear. And I can sit here now, look in that house and see myself terrified as if I were a different person that I am watching on TV.

I know in my heart a lot of people Prayed for me as I Prayed for help and I Thank you all. Please don't stop. I want to share with every one that though that was a terrible time, I cannot recreate the fear by thinking about it even when I am trying to fall asleep. And for that, I will always remain grateful to whomever Prayed for me and to the Lord for helping me through such a scary time. Now when I fall asleep, my thoughts are not there. I try to think and use the skills I learned at that horrible house to help me sleep but I get about a second into it and I am already comfortable and just fall asleep. I wake warm and rested. I really love the new place, I do have a carpet that has been here for many years that I am having allergic reactions to and getting major headaches from though the landlord said he will replace it this week. So that is my biggest thing now. If you want to Pray he really changes it, that would be great. Again. thanks for all the support. A special shout out to Jason Younger for going out of his way and bringing me dinner one night when I was really hungry and couldn't get a nurse to help tend to me. Now for the first time I have 2 and they are doing pretty good. Could be better but I am not complaining much. Just enjoying life finally. Hope every one has a great Wednesday. xoxo

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